Where has the time gone! My last entry was October of 2019. Right around the time my daughter turned 11. We are now in a whole new world. That is a fact. The battle I had with cancer was hard. I won't lie. It truly took a toll on my body and mind. My 3-month checkups went to 6 months and now at 1 year. The Fact that the treatment now has me on a thyroid medication and some blood pressure meds is not ideal. But I am alive and kickin!! It has been a tough ride the last few years since I checked in. The kids are older, my son has graduated college and out in the world doing awesome. My daughter singing in her own band and kicking ass. I couldn't be prouder. Although I face some new challenges now, they are nothing I cannot endure. After going through something like cancer everything else seams minor.
The last couple years have been crazy. Let's start with a worldwide panic of ... well, maybe I should not even mention the name, so my blog gets taken down. Insert rolling eyes emoji here. This has put a new spin on our world. It truly has divided us in a way I would never have imagined. It also brought on some new challenges to how I was trying to train and get back into shape after my cancer treatment. Gym closures were no fun. Left me to just walk around the neighborhood and lifting what little weights I had at home. Trying to buy any weights or workout equipment was a joke because it all sold out FAST!! I made do with what I had for sure. But we are now in 2022 and things are opening up and it seems some of the insanity is dying down.
Although I have been in a fight for my daughter, that is a story for another time. I have had some amazing things happen in my life in the past few years and at the same time some horrible things. It is a Ying and Yang scenario. Did the universe set out to trouble some of my building blocks as I built my new life? Did it set out to test me once more as it did years ago? It is possible. But I have seen the true colors of people in the last few years, and they are not as bright as I once though they were. I personally never thought people could be so evil and do the things they do. It has been a learning experience for sure. I believe now more than ever that God has his plan. I may get frustrated trying to figure out the plan. But, in all reality that plan is not for me or anyone other than God to figure out.
If you have gotten this far into my story you know that my fight was for my kids more than for myself. No one wants to die, but in time when you look around you and see no one there, it, I would assume would be easy to let go. Not fight the good fight. But with my eyes on my children, I had the fight in me. It was not for any selfish reasons other than wanting to be there for them for as long as humanly possible. I know God has that plan. But he obviously makes me fight for every inch. Maybe because in the end I will realize it's worth. With the world in a tailspin these days it is good to know that all the fights I fight are worth it.
I had to put off so much in the past few years. The band took a back seat due to the unmentionable pandemic and getting everyone together seems to be a chore these days. It won't be fun if it's a chore. I have switched my focus to producing and hosting my new podcast and playing guitar at my church in the worship band. This is feeding my creativity at this time. The rest of my focus is on my kids and my beautiful new wife. God had a plan though the storm and all I had to do was trust in that plan. Now that there is a new storm in my life. I know God has a plan for this also. It is just holding on and trusting that plan that is harder than it looks.
I still struggle with one thing that I said I would never do after cancer. I always said that my filter was gone. I would always say what I feel. Although I struggle to stand up for that in which I strongly believe just to appease other people's feelings. It is time I knock that off. Just say what you need to say. Thank you for sticking around and caring enough to read this blog every day I wrote my feeling and fears for all to read. I hope it has helped someone out there as much as writing it has helped me. A new journey starts as we set sail into the now.....
God Bless \m/
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