This is the longest I have ever gone without a blog update. That wasn't the plan. I had something set for right around Christmas time and New year. Unfortunately I hit a bump in the road and was not able to update. I guess we can rewind to after the last post. I was eagerly heading down that new path in life. I always go back to that moment I was walking down the street with my daughter. She was on her scooter and I was carrying her basket of pine cones we would go out and collect. I remember looking up at the trees and for the first time I could see the air move between the leaves. I remember looking up and realizing truly at that moment how short life is. I realized a lot more at that moment that I am just now starting to understand.
The one thing that I understand with more clarity now is that life is ever changing. It is fluid. It runs like a river that you can not control. Sometimes all you can do is hang on and let the river take you. I have learned that you can't really fight the flow of the river. It at times flows in directions you never thought it could. Having faith in yourself is key. You must have faith that you will grow and learn to understand every twist and turn this river takes. I do my best to not lose faith and to be brave enough to just let the river of life just flow as I go for this exciting ride.
Since my last post I have been working hard at rebuilding. My patience is a problem. I have none. Of course I pray for patience every day. I think if you learn to sit quietly and meditate you can open your mind and you heart to a deeper understanding. Patience will come. It was hard to work on myself in the gym because the chemo really did mess with my body. It took me quite a while to figure out what foods I can still eat to actually help me build muscle and lose fat. It almost drove me crazy. Still I got a handle on it and started to make amazing progress.
I had a big set back in mid December when I pinched a nerve in my neck. I have to say this was the worst pain I have ever felt. I had to stop working out because I could not use my right arm at all. I couldn't play guitar, it was a mess. Completely debilitating. Did I mention the pain? I had to sit back for close to eight weeks without working out or really doing anything at all. I am close to full recovery now. I still have issues with the strength in my right arm. Still day by day it is getting much better and I am able to lift weights and play guitar. Two of my favorite things to do. Crazy thing this river. It really does twist and turn in ways you never expect. I can't tell you to be ready for it. I honestly think you can't truly prepare for that. I think the river just wants to see what you are made of from time to time. I guess I just need to remind it that I am stronger than anything it can throw at me.
I don't see it at the time when things get bad. But once I start to get a handle on it I can finally see that there is a purpose and it just makes me stronger. This last injury really pushed me to my pain limit. Nerve pain is not a joke. This is what stopped me from writing my update in December. Now that I am starting to get back on track I feel myself at the very least getting back to my routine.
As I approach my three year cancer free anniversary this year I have a rush of emotions. More tests coming up soon to crush! Year three feels good. More to come.....
God Bless
SMIB \m/
The one thing that I understand with more clarity now is that life is ever changing. It is fluid. It runs like a river that you can not control. Sometimes all you can do is hang on and let the river take you. I have learned that you can't really fight the flow of the river. It at times flows in directions you never thought it could. Having faith in yourself is key. You must have faith that you will grow and learn to understand every twist and turn this river takes. I do my best to not lose faith and to be brave enough to just let the river of life just flow as I go for this exciting ride.
Since my last post I have been working hard at rebuilding. My patience is a problem. I have none. Of course I pray for patience every day. I think if you learn to sit quietly and meditate you can open your mind and you heart to a deeper understanding. Patience will come. It was hard to work on myself in the gym because the chemo really did mess with my body. It took me quite a while to figure out what foods I can still eat to actually help me build muscle and lose fat. It almost drove me crazy. Still I got a handle on it and started to make amazing progress.
I had a big set back in mid December when I pinched a nerve in my neck. I have to say this was the worst pain I have ever felt. I had to stop working out because I could not use my right arm at all. I couldn't play guitar, it was a mess. Completely debilitating. Did I mention the pain? I had to sit back for close to eight weeks without working out or really doing anything at all. I am close to full recovery now. I still have issues with the strength in my right arm. Still day by day it is getting much better and I am able to lift weights and play guitar. Two of my favorite things to do. Crazy thing this river. It really does twist and turn in ways you never expect. I can't tell you to be ready for it. I honestly think you can't truly prepare for that. I think the river just wants to see what you are made of from time to time. I guess I just need to remind it that I am stronger than anything it can throw at me.
I don't see it at the time when things get bad. But once I start to get a handle on it I can finally see that there is a purpose and it just makes me stronger. This last injury really pushed me to my pain limit. Nerve pain is not a joke. This is what stopped me from writing my update in December. Now that I am starting to get back on track I feel myself at the very least getting back to my routine.
As I approach my three year cancer free anniversary this year I have a rush of emotions. More tests coming up soon to crush! Year three feels good. More to come.....
God Bless
SMIB \m/
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