Today I got to go in and see my oncologist. I was so nervous that she would give me different news that my radiation oncologist had told me. Yeah I know that sounds silly but that's how your mind works when you have had cancer for a year and had your life turned upside down. I know I found out on friday but having her tell me was the icing on the cake. She is the one that has been there from day one and has been treating me since day one. I think after talking to her today and having her confirm that I no longer have cancer was more the most amazing thing next to seeing my kids being born.
I think it is finally starting to set in that this nightmare is over. I know I have to be watched for the next two years but she was very optimistic that I will be fine. I am also very happy, well actually I have no words to express how I feel about this but I was told I can have my port taken out. I was ready to take my pocket knife out and have her just cut it outta me now. So that surgery is being scheduled and I should get a call in a day or so to let me know when that will be. I tell you that I can not wait to have this fucking thing outta me. You have no idea. This will really make me feel like I can move past this.
My energy has been rushing back and it feels good. I can feel it really feel it when I am in the gym. Although I can't do eight five percent of my workouts because of this damn port. Once I have the port removed I will have a ten day ban on lifting. So I will have to just stick with cardio until I heal from the surgery. Then that is it. I get back to my workouts and no looking back. I suppose the hardest part now is to get back to life the way it was before cancer. There is no going back to life like it was. This has changed me in many ways. I look in the mirror and I do not see the same guy, It is hard to explain.
I do know that I no longer have any tolerance for bullshit. No tolerance for fake assholes. If we cross paths and you pull any shit with me just remember I have no filter on my mouth any longer. Nothing you threaten me with will bother me. I beat cancer there is nothing you can say or do that will bother me. Being a cancer survivor means I faced death. As the Rock says "Your candy ass don't scare me" lol I have noticed that the little things that upset everyone really have no effect on me any more. And to think I read all those "Don't sweat the small stuff" books lol.
Thank you to all of you that stick behind me and pray for me. Those of you that have always been there and have always checked in with me. Just know that I will never forget that!
SMIB \m/
I think it is finally starting to set in that this nightmare is over. I know I have to be watched for the next two years but she was very optimistic that I will be fine. I am also very happy, well actually I have no words to express how I feel about this but I was told I can have my port taken out. I was ready to take my pocket knife out and have her just cut it outta me now. So that surgery is being scheduled and I should get a call in a day or so to let me know when that will be. I tell you that I can not wait to have this fucking thing outta me. You have no idea. This will really make me feel like I can move past this.
My energy has been rushing back and it feels good. I can feel it really feel it when I am in the gym. Although I can't do eight five percent of my workouts because of this damn port. Once I have the port removed I will have a ten day ban on lifting. So I will have to just stick with cardio until I heal from the surgery. Then that is it. I get back to my workouts and no looking back. I suppose the hardest part now is to get back to life the way it was before cancer. There is no going back to life like it was. This has changed me in many ways. I look in the mirror and I do not see the same guy, It is hard to explain.
I do know that I no longer have any tolerance for bullshit. No tolerance for fake assholes. If we cross paths and you pull any shit with me just remember I have no filter on my mouth any longer. Nothing you threaten me with will bother me. I beat cancer there is nothing you can say or do that will bother me. Being a cancer survivor means I faced death. As the Rock says "Your candy ass don't scare me" lol I have noticed that the little things that upset everyone really have no effect on me any more. And to think I read all those "Don't sweat the small stuff" books lol.
Thank you to all of you that stick behind me and pray for me. Those of you that have always been there and have always checked in with me. Just know that I will never forget that!
SMIB \m/
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