Just a few days left before this year is in the books. I finally started my paperwork for my proton radiation therapy. I have a consultation appointment Monday the fourth. I am excited to get started with this next step. I am hopeful that this will work and put me back on the path to a healthy life. This next step will be a bit more of a challenge since I will have to get to the facility in Warrenville. I will known more on Monday when I go down for the consultation with the radiation oncologist. So far it looks like I will need to go five days a week for a month. At least that is the plan so far.
I have been fighting this subtle anxiety again today. Due to the weather going batshit crazy I had to reschedule my acupuncture appointment to tomorrow night. Just want to be able to get that back under control. I have to say that I have been lucky that I haven't really felt much anxiety since the beginning of December. Believe it or not that is a great record. All I can say is that the acupuncture is on point if you suffer from anxiety. I can completely tell the difference when I miss a treatment. This week I will get back on track and start to get this anxiety under control.
One of the most important things for me now is to keep that under control as I move into the new year and get started with radiation. It has been a great feeling since I haven't been getting chemo. Although I do let my mind get the best of me. I keep thinking I am a hundred percent and I am far from that. I try to do to much and I feel it. Lucky my body reminds me that I am mortal. My mind would push me way to far. Now in a normal situation it is ok to push yourself. I just have to know my limits for now. Other than that I am feeling better everyday. Even though its slow and minor improvements. At the end of the day it's ok any improvement is a win.
Sometimes you just have to understand you are not the only one. Everyone suffers from something. Anxiety is going to sneak in from time to time. As long as I don't let it get to me I will be ok. You never become used to it when it happens. Those are the times you just need to keep your cool and use the methods that help you get through the panic. And hey, even Iron Man gets anxiety.
SMIB \m/
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