The twister of a day today. For sure I woke up today with some serious anxiety. Spent the whole morning meditating and trying to get past it. It took some time but I never was able to shake it. So of course it got a bit out of control. I was able to pull it together by the time my daughter was home from school so I can start her diner and get her homework done. When it's time to kick into dad mode you need to get a grip on life and let that anxiety take a back seat. I mean what am I fighting for if not to be a dad to my kids.
Those are the main focus of my whole journey though this. When things get out of hand I focus on them and I get back to my center. Needless to say things got way better once she was home and we had a blast making dinner together and getting some homework done. Also since there is no school tomorrow we made some plans to have fun all day! Who can beat that?
My acupuncture was awesome and really put me in a calm place tonight. Also that nagging neuropathy that was setting in is now gone. Still got that kickin back pain. I need to get more time on my inversion table. Even though it does nothing for the knots in my shoulders. At the very least decompressing my spine feels damn good. It gives me some relief from all the pain. Other than this it has been a slow day in the side effects department. Again nothing I am complaining about. I just starting to slowly feel better now.
Here were are. Next week is the last one. I am jumping out of my skin with excitement. I really hate the fact that I need to get another chemo treatment. I won't lie, I am not happy about going through another week or two of this shit. The more I get chemo the longer it takes to feel better. At this point I can't get to excited until I get the all clear by December 3rd. Then and only then I will know I have beat this shit and I can start my recovery. It will take a few months for the shit to leave my system. Once I start to feel my strength come back I can start to train and get myself back. Mind body and soul. I let this caner take way to much from me. Yeah I fight it and it gets tough day to day. It slowly takes away your sanity and your confidence more importantly your health.
One way or another I have managed to stay just a few notches above all that. Yeah it took away from me things I will never get back. But I will be reborn from the fire. You need to crash and burn to live again. And soon I will fly out of the ashes a new person.
SMIB \m/
Those are the main focus of my whole journey though this. When things get out of hand I focus on them and I get back to my center. Needless to say things got way better once she was home and we had a blast making dinner together and getting some homework done. Also since there is no school tomorrow we made some plans to have fun all day! Who can beat that?
My acupuncture was awesome and really put me in a calm place tonight. Also that nagging neuropathy that was setting in is now gone. Still got that kickin back pain. I need to get more time on my inversion table. Even though it does nothing for the knots in my shoulders. At the very least decompressing my spine feels damn good. It gives me some relief from all the pain. Other than this it has been a slow day in the side effects department. Again nothing I am complaining about. I just starting to slowly feel better now.
Here were are. Next week is the last one. I am jumping out of my skin with excitement. I really hate the fact that I need to get another chemo treatment. I won't lie, I am not happy about going through another week or two of this shit. The more I get chemo the longer it takes to feel better. At this point I can't get to excited until I get the all clear by December 3rd. Then and only then I will know I have beat this shit and I can start my recovery. It will take a few months for the shit to leave my system. Once I start to feel my strength come back I can start to train and get myself back. Mind body and soul. I let this caner take way to much from me. Yeah I fight it and it gets tough day to day. It slowly takes away your sanity and your confidence more importantly your health.
One way or another I have managed to stay just a few notches above all that. Yeah it took away from me things I will never get back. But I will be reborn from the fire. You need to crash and burn to live again. And soon I will fly out of the ashes a new person.
SMIB \m/
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