Today is exactly one week since I had chemo. So I tell myself, self, why are you such a pain in the ass to me? I know better that I should not rush trying to feel better to fast. Yet I do this to myself every time and then I bitch and complain. This week has been a bit rough. I did most of it to myself by trying to get ahead of myself. This late in the game it takes almost all the two weeks to recover. I tried getting all cocky starting Saturday lol. Smooth move. At the very least I did get much needed rest yesterday. Last night I slept very well also. This is a pattern I would love to continue.
I have used up my allowed energy for the day today. It was quiet day without any anxiety. That shit that went down on Monday was just way too much. I always joke about the stretches of time I go without anxiety. In all honesty those stretches of time are so nice when you have to deal with chemo. I never really say "fighting cancer" I never really understood until I was hit with this. I know I have said it before but I believe you are fighting the way chemo makes you feel. I guess in my case I am lucky that I didn't have any symptoms when all this happened. Still feeling like this now is just annoying. The fight i am on is unique. Everyone I have talked with has experienced things differently yet the same. Today the side effects are some neuropathy and that cooking from the inside out feeling. I really love that one. It's fun feeling like I can catch fire at anytime.
Besides all that fun stuff I did get to sit around and play guitar today. That did feel great. I haven't done that in awhile. The neuropathy did get in the way so I was only able to play for a little while. Still was fun and kept my mind off the everyday bullshit of dealing with cancer. The reality of the way I feel everyday is at times better dealt with when I use my time wisely. I try to stay busy with anything I can find. Since my XboX blew up lol. No more video games for a while. So I need a new drug. Something to keep me occupied the next couple weeks. I know it will be a rough ride and as much as I hate it . I have to walk the path set before me. No looking turning back now. Fill in all the corny saying like that here lol.
Well that's another early blog post for this week. I really am tired and will crash early tonight. I was up early this morning helping out another fellow cancer survivor. Sticking together and being there for the ones who need it when they need it. That is what life is all about.
SMIB \m/
I have used up my allowed energy for the day today. It was quiet day without any anxiety. That shit that went down on Monday was just way too much. I always joke about the stretches of time I go without anxiety. In all honesty those stretches of time are so nice when you have to deal with chemo. I never really say "fighting cancer" I never really understood until I was hit with this. I know I have said it before but I believe you are fighting the way chemo makes you feel. I guess in my case I am lucky that I didn't have any symptoms when all this happened. Still feeling like this now is just annoying. The fight i am on is unique. Everyone I have talked with has experienced things differently yet the same. Today the side effects are some neuropathy and that cooking from the inside out feeling. I really love that one. It's fun feeling like I can catch fire at anytime.
Besides all that fun stuff I did get to sit around and play guitar today. That did feel great. I haven't done that in awhile. The neuropathy did get in the way so I was only able to play for a little while. Still was fun and kept my mind off the everyday bullshit of dealing with cancer. The reality of the way I feel everyday is at times better dealt with when I use my time wisely. I try to stay busy with anything I can find. Since my XboX blew up lol. No more video games for a while. So I need a new drug. Something to keep me occupied the next couple weeks. I know it will be a rough ride and as much as I hate it . I have to walk the path set before me. No looking turning back now. Fill in all the corny saying like that here lol.
Well that's another early blog post for this week. I really am tired and will crash early tonight. I was up early this morning helping out another fellow cancer survivor. Sticking together and being there for the ones who need it when they need it. That is what life is all about.
SMIB \m/
OMG I havent thought about Huey Lewis in ages, they still around? Anyway, so happy for you bro that you only have one left, and then on to the gym, jamming, etc. WE pray for you all the time and know you will be a stronger person after this shit is over. Hang in there man.we ooooo we ooooo we ooooooo, oh shit, wrong Huey Lewis song lol Fuck there was some great 80's music, but some really horrible shit too
ReplyDeleteThank you for the prayers it means a lot! Yeah love me some 80's. But yes there was some bad shit too lol
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