Here we are kids. It has all lead up to this. After Mother's Day this year finding out I had cancer. Going through all the tests. Letting family know what was going on, then letting friends know. It was a rough road just in the first few weeks of finding out and getting ready for treatment. After letting everyone know and finding out who was in my corner the fight began. After six months of chemo and other medication my body has taken a toll. I feel out of shape and just tired as shit. The aches and pains of sitting on my ass now for months has taken a toll. And we can not leave out ow much I hate this port in my chest.
Completely messing up how I sleep and adding to my anxiety. Tomorrow I get the scan of a lifetime. Of course I have to wait a few days for my results. Still I am nervous and anxious. Everything has been leading up to this day. All this suffering and pain and shit that was put in my body over the last six months comes down to this test. All I can say is that I am just ready no matter what the results. I am ready for the next chapter. I need to move on from this and start to get better or continue the fight. One way or another I am nervous to find out.
On that note. Today was decent. Not to many issues besides some anxiety obviously due to tomorrow's test. I didn't get to sleep until late but of course I slept in. My anxiety has been background at best today since I did some meditation early this morning to help keep it there. Besides my normal back pain and a headache I can say I am doing ok today. Tomorrow I may start to feel better if things stay on track as usual after chemo. Then again I have so much of it in me now that I can't really tell anymore. I start to feel pretty good for a bit then the shit hits again. Still I put a smile on my face and follow the yellow brick road. What else can you do.
So I was going to hit some of those questions everyone has been emailing me but I need to get to bed since my appointment is early in the morning tomorrow. So I will postpone that a few days. So no worries I will be getting to those questions soon. For now I am going to try to relax for the evening and try and eat a little something since I have to fast after nine tonight. That is one thing I can not stand. Once I am done with the scan I will be starving. Thanks again to everyone who has been sending good vibes and prayers my way. I can really uses them now!!
SMIB \m/
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