So today I was up at the ass crack of dawn to head down to the hospital for what they call a mugga test. Sounds funny to me too. I did not sleep well and I was nervous even though this test is so simple you basically just lay there for 20 minuets as they just take images of your heart. That's it. The nervous part about the test obviously is.. well your heart, come on you would be worried too. I had this test back before I started chemo and was told that my heart was in awesome shape and that my body would handle the stress of chemo. But standard they need to check again mid way though chemo. The first time I went in for this test the nurse had to take blood and they leave a iv in you so that they can add a tracer to your blood and then after 20 minutes they inject you back your blood with the tracer. Now it is that simple. Then as I said you lay there and just wait for 20 minuets and you go home. That first time the nurse hit a nerve in my left arm and after I told her a few times that this thing in my arm did not feel right they still injected my blood back with the tracer. At that point my whole left arm felt hot and I looked around the room at the nurse and someone else I don't remember. And I looked up and said "get this fucking thing out of me now." I repeated it a few times as I remember. Then I must have turned white because there was 5 people in the room they were giving me water and they took that fucking thing out of me lol. So to say the least I was nervous to do this test again because I knew I would see this nurse again.
I did get lucky and I had this awesome Nurse who actually did my first petscan before my chemo treatments started months ago. I told her about the bad experience and she was awesome and made sure I had a pleasant experience. Now I did see that first nurse right before my test started. She gave me a big smile and I gave her a hug and said " it's all good girl" lol she got a laugh and said "how come you didn't pass out on her." Well she didn't fuck up is what I would have said but hey I am a nice guy. So all went well with the test and I will now bite my fingers till I see the oncologist on Tuesday nest week to let me know I am fine. In the mean time my anxiety will look for things that are not there because that's what anxiety does.
So the rest of the day was just coming down off that anxiety from worrying about this dam test all night. Happy that no other side effects were really bothering me at all today. Some very mild nausea but I am finding that it is still triggered by that dam smell I keep smelling in my house that smells like the hospital. Other than that another day in the books and another small victory towards winning the war. As much as I am so sick of being poked and scanned and felling violated every time I turn. I know in the end it's all to keep me alive. Who can argue with that.
SMIB \m/
I did get lucky and I had this awesome Nurse who actually did my first petscan before my chemo treatments started months ago. I told her about the bad experience and she was awesome and made sure I had a pleasant experience. Now I did see that first nurse right before my test started. She gave me a big smile and I gave her a hug and said " it's all good girl" lol she got a laugh and said "how come you didn't pass out on her." Well she didn't fuck up is what I would have said but hey I am a nice guy. So all went well with the test and I will now bite my fingers till I see the oncologist on Tuesday nest week to let me know I am fine. In the mean time my anxiety will look for things that are not there because that's what anxiety does.
So the rest of the day was just coming down off that anxiety from worrying about this dam test all night. Happy that no other side effects were really bothering me at all today. Some very mild nausea but I am finding that it is still triggered by that dam smell I keep smelling in my house that smells like the hospital. Other than that another day in the books and another small victory towards winning the war. As much as I am so sick of being poked and scanned and felling violated every time I turn. I know in the end it's all to keep me alive. Who can argue with that.
SMIB \m/
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