So today was treatment eight. I got my ass kicked for sure. I really felt horrible after my session. The nausea fucking hit me right away and I just felt like complete shit. I had to drive my self there today but thank god my brother from lodge showed up sat with me all day and drove my ass home in my car. Thank you Joel. You rock my friend. Very nice to be part of a group pf people who do things for you from the heart. I had the psychiatrist come visit me during my treatment today. I must have gave off a vibe when I walked in there this morning lol. Regardless it is nice that they stop in from time to time to shoot the shit and make you feel like you are not crazy.
Well what can I say about today. I hate this chemo shit. I really am starting to appreciate feeling like 60% me on my good week. Because this shit is for the birds my friends. I really cant stand the feeling I get from this. I mean who can I am sure. But This shit is just way to much. I almost forget how bad it really is. The few days before chemo I start to get anxious and this is why. As much as I know this is helping me I really have no patience for it. I have said this before and I will say it again. I really can see why people just give up after so many treatments. I can see how people who have to do this shit for a year or more just say you know what fuck this I am done.
Now I am to strong for that. I will not give up. But holy hell can I see why people do it. Again these are the times I have to dig really deep inside and see what I am made of. Do I break down and cry? Yes. Do I scream at the top of my lungs, God WTF did you do to me? Yes. And a whole lot more. Then I pull my shit together and remember why I am here and why I am fighting this demon. I have lots to live for. Mickey told Rocky. Nature is smarter than people think. Little by little, we lose our friends, we lose everything. We keep losing and losing till we say, you know, what the hell am I livin
around here for? I got no reason to go on. But just like Mickey I have reasons. And yes we lose friends and family along the way, A good friend said today. "God may have given you this battle to show you who your real friends and family really are". Could be but hey. I am in all the way and I have some great people who help me along the way. That is all that matters to me at this point in my life.
Well chemo brain is just a bitch. Thank god I had acupuncture my nausea is gone. I feel better in that regard, So I will watch some TV because the steroids I got today will keep my ass awake even though I am so tired.
SMIB \m/
Well what can I say about today. I hate this chemo shit. I really am starting to appreciate feeling like 60% me on my good week. Because this shit is for the birds my friends. I really cant stand the feeling I get from this. I mean who can I am sure. But This shit is just way to much. I almost forget how bad it really is. The few days before chemo I start to get anxious and this is why. As much as I know this is helping me I really have no patience for it. I have said this before and I will say it again. I really can see why people just give up after so many treatments. I can see how people who have to do this shit for a year or more just say you know what fuck this I am done.
Now I am to strong for that. I will not give up. But holy hell can I see why people do it. Again these are the times I have to dig really deep inside and see what I am made of. Do I break down and cry? Yes. Do I scream at the top of my lungs, God WTF did you do to me? Yes. And a whole lot more. Then I pull my shit together and remember why I am here and why I am fighting this demon. I have lots to live for. Mickey told Rocky. Nature is smarter than people think. Little by little, we lose our friends, we lose everything. We keep losing and losing till we say, you know, what the hell am I livin
around here for? I got no reason to go on. But just like Mickey I have reasons. And yes we lose friends and family along the way, A good friend said today. "God may have given you this battle to show you who your real friends and family really are". Could be but hey. I am in all the way and I have some great people who help me along the way. That is all that matters to me at this point in my life.
Well chemo brain is just a bitch. Thank god I had acupuncture my nausea is gone. I feel better in that regard, So I will watch some TV because the steroids I got today will keep my ass awake even though I am so tired.
SMIB \m/
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