LEGEND..... wait for it....

Busy busy day. I had no luck unplugging today from my phone. Everything else was ok but the phone. Better luck tomorrow. I suppose baby steps are in order. On another note, the anxiety has been much better now since acupuncture. It still in the background but manageable. Not that you ever want any at all. When you do at least if it's manageable it's ok. At this point I won't complain. No real side effect today besides my energy level being kind of low. I still push a bit to get things done around the house. I feel normal when I can start getting laundry done and cleaning. I do get tired quick but I do realize that I am on this crazy schedule that has been the same since the first week I had chemo. I am always weak for nine days. Always nine days before I am able to get back in the gym and start to feel somewhat better. 

Never quite get to feel myself at any point during any of this. There may be moments here and there and then this dam port is a reminder of what I am going through. I had some sleep last night but this port really makes it very hard to get comfortable. I just can never get into a position where I can fall asleep. Truly the hardest part of getting sleep. My body gets so tired and I just lay there tossing and turning knowing that the only thing I can really do is sleep on my back. Again that's the one position I can not stand sleeping in. Probably explains this kink in my neck today. 

Ok what else can I complain about today? I think that may be it. I had a decent day for the most part. Once I picked up my daughter we spent a few hours doing homework. Getting in some reading which I am glad they didn't change like math. I am actually confused on first grade math lol. It is amazing how much homework has changed. Thank god my kid pays attention in class because she didn't get that from me. I wouldn't change it for the world though. Spending time with my kids even if I am doing homework. 

My appetite has been on fire all day. Nothing new in that department. Guess dealing with these steroids is something I just can't get used to. I really am sick of cooking and washing dishes every few hours. I eat something then in about an hour or so I am starving again. So I try to cook something healthy. Then wash the dishes and back at it again in an hour or so. It's a vicious circle.  Wait I thought I was done complaining. Oh well that's not going to happen anytime soon. Some of these things really are more annoying than anything. To be very honest it is really a big pain in the ass. The side effects just make you feel like you want to crawl out of your body for a while. You just get to a point where falling asleep is so awesome because at least you do not have to feel anything for a while. Sounds crazy I know. But all the aches and pains are unbearable some days. 

At this point of the week it usually gets that way in the evening. You just start to get that feeling you have when you have a fever where your body just hurts. You feel like you are burning up yet your temperature is normal. The chemo just fucks with your body that you just can't cool off. Then In 15 minutes you are cold. Welcome to menopause!! Sick joke huh? What did I say about not complaining? Well to late now. Honestly as I said. It really is all just a big annoyance. And some days it's just way too much to handle. Thank god today it is very moderate. Tomorrow I am just looking forward to time in the gym and I may get lucky and go out for dinner! I know right how exciting getting out of the house and all that shit. How lucky can one guy be. I may have somewhat of a normal day tomorrow. I knew going into this that it would not be easy on me or the people around me that care for me. But all I can do is look at this in the face and say "Challenge Accepted" 

......DAIRY

SMIB \m/

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