Well I have to say today was not as bad as I thought it would be. I woke up early and that never happens. So I am crashing very early tonight. Obviously tomorrow is the infamous "crash day". I did get a lot done today and did a lot more than I usually do the day after chemo. The acupuncture really worked great and has been keeping me calm and keeping my nausea at bay. Also I am so amazed that I have not had much of the neuropathy at all. That is a big plus. So my sessions with acupuncture are really just helping me keep my shit together. I can honestly say I had no anxiety today. I felt it just a bit but was able to just ignore it.
Not a bad day at all. After getting bills out of the way and filling out online forms that were so much fun, I got to hang out with my daughter after school and we built a cool blanket fort. Being a kid is so much fun. Having kids allows you to be a kid anytime you want. Actually even if you don't have any kids you can build a blanket fort. Why not just have some fun and do silly shit. I have to say that the more I realize what I am dealing with the more I am living every moment I can with a new outlook.
We don't need to have all that bullshit stress in life that just makes life un enjoyable. The way I see it now Is that it's time to slow down and just do shit for you and those that care about you. I know I have said it before and I will continue to preach it. It's time to slow down and see things at face value. Things are what they are and you need to realize that no one in this life will fight for you as hard as you will fight for yourself.
The battles I have fought in the last few years were not easy. This one is by far not easy. As they say Cancer is a mind fuck. It is not so much the cancer or the chemo as much as it is the dam emotional changes due to the chemo. The steroids that mess with your body are the worst. That feeling of failure that I am gaining weight due to the steroids after all that work I did in the gym the last 2 years. And I know that 15 lbs is nothing compared to the 100 lbs I had to lose. But none the less it really is something that aggravates me. I know I have the strength to get over that and realize that It will be easy for me to get it right off again in a few months.
It is hard to deal with your mind that is ready and willing to get up and go every day and work out and your body just will not cooperate. I guess in times like these we all need to slow down and build more blanket forts and just chill out. Try and see the simple things in life that are all that matter anyway. all the other shit just gets tossed to the side and you just become better for it. I know I am already. I know that after treatment I have a long road of tests and follow ups to make sure this treatment took. You are not out of the woods with this for two years. That is two years of my life that unless I learn to deal with this I will always be on edge. That is no way to live. I know once I beat this I am done. I will not let this weaken my mind and spirit. It may have my body right now but my mind and spirit are not having any of it.
SMIB \m/
Not a bad day at all. After getting bills out of the way and filling out online forms that were so much fun, I got to hang out with my daughter after school and we built a cool blanket fort. Being a kid is so much fun. Having kids allows you to be a kid anytime you want. Actually even if you don't have any kids you can build a blanket fort. Why not just have some fun and do silly shit. I have to say that the more I realize what I am dealing with the more I am living every moment I can with a new outlook.
We don't need to have all that bullshit stress in life that just makes life un enjoyable. The way I see it now Is that it's time to slow down and just do shit for you and those that care about you. I know I have said it before and I will continue to preach it. It's time to slow down and see things at face value. Things are what they are and you need to realize that no one in this life will fight for you as hard as you will fight for yourself.
The battles I have fought in the last few years were not easy. This one is by far not easy. As they say Cancer is a mind fuck. It is not so much the cancer or the chemo as much as it is the dam emotional changes due to the chemo. The steroids that mess with your body are the worst. That feeling of failure that I am gaining weight due to the steroids after all that work I did in the gym the last 2 years. And I know that 15 lbs is nothing compared to the 100 lbs I had to lose. But none the less it really is something that aggravates me. I know I have the strength to get over that and realize that It will be easy for me to get it right off again in a few months.
It is hard to deal with your mind that is ready and willing to get up and go every day and work out and your body just will not cooperate. I guess in times like these we all need to slow down and build more blanket forts and just chill out. Try and see the simple things in life that are all that matter anyway. all the other shit just gets tossed to the side and you just become better for it. I know I am already. I know that after treatment I have a long road of tests and follow ups to make sure this treatment took. You are not out of the woods with this for two years. That is two years of my life that unless I learn to deal with this I will always be on edge. That is no way to live. I know once I beat this I am done. I will not let this weaken my mind and spirit. It may have my body right now but my mind and spirit are not having any of it.
SMIB \m/
I dig the blanket fort, looks comfy.
ReplyDeleteHey man, as you know, I got divorced a couple years ago and since have struggled w/ all the abandonment form people I thought would be supportive. Kind of a mind fuck. I know you have dealt w/ this as well so I wanted to recommend something. YOu may already be doing it or are aware but this is one of many quotes I found "there are speciļ¬c qigong methods for helping those with cancer and mitigating the effects of radiation and chemotherapy"
Its from one of many websites dedicated to Qigong, pronounced chee gung, which is translated as Eight Pieces of Brocade, Eight-Section Brocade, Eight Silken Movements or Eight Silk Weaving, the name of the form generally refers to how the eight individual movements of the form characterize and impart a silken quality (like that of a piece of brocade) to the body and its energy. The Baduanjin is primarily designated as a form of medical qigong, meant to improve health.I have started using it for awareness or mindfulness but as you just read is very beneficial for people battling cancer. I know alot of people think eastern beliefs or medicine is b.s. but I know you are into acupuncture and though you could use and appreciate this
FUCK YOU CANCER
ReplyDeleteYeah I am into all kinds of natural cures and my oncologist is also. She is very open and she is the one that told me about acupuncture and other things I can do. So I will look into this thanks so much man!
ReplyDelete