This weekend was a roller coaster of anxiety and panic. But I made it though all that and at least was able to do somethings. I got to have a day off of chemo and now we start chemo a day late. So now Tuesdays will be my chemo days. So everything shifts a day later. This will be a small adjustment but I am just ready to get this over with. Have I mentioned that lol. I have been trying to get ready for tomorrow but this anxiety over the weekend is not helping. I will have to just do this and realize every step is a step closer to beating this. It is amazing how anxiety really fucks with you. It is so hard to tune it out some days. The steroids really heighten the whole anxiety thing.
This week I will be half way though with treatment. It feels like yesterday that all this started. It's funny how fast this goes. At the same time there are days I feel this shit just drags on and on. Then I will have a day like I did on Friday and I feel amazing. So what the hell I had 1 awesome day out of 4. This will be the toughest few months as the chemo side effects will take longer to get over. I have been mentally trying to prepare but how the fuck do you do that? It does not seam like that is something easily done. Well today was alright. Anxiety was on and off all day. Spent time with my parents for the holiday. Some of moms cooking helped. Who doesn't like moms cooking when you feel like crap. Besides anxiety no other issues besides the heat really fucking with my breathing, One of my chemo meds that gives me shortness of breath really messes me up when its this hot. Other than that nothing exciting just the usual bullshit. These chemo weeks feel like I have a ball and chain on me.
Well thanks for ready my rant today. Nothing more left but to get some rest and ready for the week of shit a head. Peace out
SMIB \m/
This week I will be half way though with treatment. It feels like yesterday that all this started. It's funny how fast this goes. At the same time there are days I feel this shit just drags on and on. Then I will have a day like I did on Friday and I feel amazing. So what the hell I had 1 awesome day out of 4. This will be the toughest few months as the chemo side effects will take longer to get over. I have been mentally trying to prepare but how the fuck do you do that? It does not seam like that is something easily done. Well today was alright. Anxiety was on and off all day. Spent time with my parents for the holiday. Some of moms cooking helped. Who doesn't like moms cooking when you feel like crap. Besides anxiety no other issues besides the heat really fucking with my breathing, One of my chemo meds that gives me shortness of breath really messes me up when its this hot. Other than that nothing exciting just the usual bullshit. These chemo weeks feel like I have a ball and chain on me.
Well thanks for ready my rant today. Nothing more left but to get some rest and ready for the week of shit a head. Peace out
SMIB \m/
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