Hey Mike Mike Mike Mike.. what day is it? Well Wednesday just about came and went. I do believe it was just a bit better than the last, well the last "Crash Day" as I have come to call it. I was well enough to get out and go to lodge tonight. I didn't do much but sit there like a lump on a log but I went. Was awesome to see my lodge brothers and hang out with them for the night. Those little things make you feel good. I did wish lodge meetings fell on my good week, but that's ok I will get to as many meetings as I can. I just hate the feeling of just walking in a daze and having no energy to even speak. That really gets to me. Again I know I have talked about that before but the feeling that you have no control over your own body really gets old quick. But when you are surrounded by people you trust it makes it easy to know I am safe.
I wont go on to long today. I had an ok day today. I slept very late I think I was out of bed somewhere around 12:30 but I could be wrong lol. I was very very tired and had to crawl out of bed. The crash day really makes you feel useless. It is the day that you would feel like giving up. But if I stay focused and realize that this is a temporary feeling and not give in to it. Well at that point I realize tomorrow will be better. This is the week that really makes me hate going in for chemo. Knowing that the almost normal feeling I have on the off week is going to be gone, well I can't lie, I really hate that with a passion. The bad will pass. It always does. I don't know where I get the strength some days but I get it.
As Yoda said "Try not. Do or do not, There is no try" So I do. I move forward every day and do what needs to be done. I try not to over do anything and listen to how my body responds to what I do. No need to over do anything. Well that is it for today I am very tired now and I need to get some sleep. I will be back to feeling a bit more like my self in a few days. So for tonight a quick short update to let you all know I am still kicking ass and taking names over here. I may get down, I may feel so exhausted at times but I keep fighting and moving forward.
SMIB \m/
Thats all you can do man, you got this. Again, that pillow case says alot. Feeling defeated? Just look at that, thats alot to fight for and shit could be worse, your little gilr could be a complete pain in the ass like my 14 and 17 year old girls LOL
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