The day after chemo is always a "hows today going to be" kinda day. Today was full of chemo brain and just some nausea. Thankfully the pill worked right away and my nausea has been gone all day. So as far as side effects they have been light this time around. The acupuncture really helps with the side effects also so that is a big bonus. This week is staring to come out to be ok. I did lose it a bit yesterday with anxiety after my chemo treatment. For some reason it was just hard on me this time around. They say you get used to it but really? No you don't get used to poison running through your veins. Thank you Alice Cooper! Face it I sang that line as I typed it lol.
I used my energy very smart today. I have some practice at this now and I see the pattern of how my body is working. I do sleep in now until 10:30 am every morning like clock work. So once I get up I do what I need to do and try to get outside and get some fresh air. The fresh air is good for you. No need to stay cooped up all day in the house. Getting in a nice walk or just sit in the yard is nice. I got out to get my car back from the mechanic so I took a short drive that was nice I haven not been driving in the past several days. God I wish I could get my Bike out of storage and go for a ride. I need some wind therapy. I am going to see how I feel next week and see if that will be a possibility.
I just need to make sure my chemo brain is not an issue because I do not want to do anything stupid like being on a motorcycle if I am not in the condition to ride. That would just be irresponsible. We shall see how I feel. But It will be nice to ride. Getting to do every day normal things helps you stay focused on what you are fighting for. Helps you stay normal and feel normal. All that helps your mindset and keeps the anxiety and depression from setting in. I try to stay a step a head of those negative feelings and keep them out. You really have to dig deep and find the strength you never though you had to get through all of it. Every day is a new battle and a new way of dealing with your feelings. The mood swings have been in check. I am thankful for that because those were no fun whatsoever.
Tomorrow is usually the worst day of the week since y steroids wear off and I am just a lump on a log just sitting here. I am going to try hard to get to lodge tomorrow. I got a call from one of my Lodge Brothers that will pick me up and take me so if I am feeling up to it I will get out and get to lodge. I miss going and just sucks that my chemo treatments just fall on the same week as lodge. I have so much to be thankful for with my Masonic family and all the help I receive at Illinois Masonic. Just an awesome brotherhood and amazing group of people I am associated with. It has been an amazing journey finding my self within masonry and making me a better person. Most people ask me how the hell I get the strength and the positive attitude while I am dealing with this.
The funny thing is that if you knew half the story about what I had to deal with on top of this cancer diagnosis you would wonder why I haven't shot myself. Truth is that besides my faith in the grand architect of the universe, or The God of Thunder (Gean Simons) or Thor lol hey whatever you believe in is cool. The journey through masonry that has made me this stronger person also started me on my weight loss and my workout routine. It is what changed my life when I realized what I was worth to my self and no one else. It was an amazing revelation and it is helping me to this day though my new journey.
Always Keep the faith and believe in what you believe in and fight the fight of your life. Every day you have a inner voice screaming to get out and be yourself. Believe in that voice that is inside you because that is your true voice. That voice will always guide you and show you the true way. If you hear other vices, please get to see someone ASAP.
SMIB \m/
I used my energy very smart today. I have some practice at this now and I see the pattern of how my body is working. I do sleep in now until 10:30 am every morning like clock work. So once I get up I do what I need to do and try to get outside and get some fresh air. The fresh air is good for you. No need to stay cooped up all day in the house. Getting in a nice walk or just sit in the yard is nice. I got out to get my car back from the mechanic so I took a short drive that was nice I haven not been driving in the past several days. God I wish I could get my Bike out of storage and go for a ride. I need some wind therapy. I am going to see how I feel next week and see if that will be a possibility.
I just need to make sure my chemo brain is not an issue because I do not want to do anything stupid like being on a motorcycle if I am not in the condition to ride. That would just be irresponsible. We shall see how I feel. But It will be nice to ride. Getting to do every day normal things helps you stay focused on what you are fighting for. Helps you stay normal and feel normal. All that helps your mindset and keeps the anxiety and depression from setting in. I try to stay a step a head of those negative feelings and keep them out. You really have to dig deep and find the strength you never though you had to get through all of it. Every day is a new battle and a new way of dealing with your feelings. The mood swings have been in check. I am thankful for that because those were no fun whatsoever.
Tomorrow is usually the worst day of the week since y steroids wear off and I am just a lump on a log just sitting here. I am going to try hard to get to lodge tomorrow. I got a call from one of my Lodge Brothers that will pick me up and take me so if I am feeling up to it I will get out and get to lodge. I miss going and just sucks that my chemo treatments just fall on the same week as lodge. I have so much to be thankful for with my Masonic family and all the help I receive at Illinois Masonic. Just an awesome brotherhood and amazing group of people I am associated with. It has been an amazing journey finding my self within masonry and making me a better person. Most people ask me how the hell I get the strength and the positive attitude while I am dealing with this.
The funny thing is that if you knew half the story about what I had to deal with on top of this cancer diagnosis you would wonder why I haven't shot myself. Truth is that besides my faith in the grand architect of the universe, or The God of Thunder (Gean Simons) or Thor lol hey whatever you believe in is cool. The journey through masonry that has made me this stronger person also started me on my weight loss and my workout routine. It is what changed my life when I realized what I was worth to my self and no one else. It was an amazing revelation and it is helping me to this day though my new journey.
Always Keep the faith and believe in what you believe in and fight the fight of your life. Every day you have a inner voice screaming to get out and be yourself. Believe in that voice that is inside you because that is your true voice. That voice will always guide you and show you the true way. If you hear other vices, please get to see someone ASAP.
SMIB \m/
I leave you with pics of an awesome pillow case my lil angel made for me.
The pillow case says it all man, thats awesome. Keep up the good fight bro
ReplyDeleteThe pillow case says it all man, thats awesome. Keep up the good fight bro
ReplyDelete