Familia

Well here we are. I made it 2 weeks into my first Chemo treatment and I had my ups and downs. More ups and that is a good thing. Today was a good day but an emotional day because I got to go to church for my cousin Giuseppe and his lovely wife's daughters baptism. His brothers were in from Seattle and Denver and I haven't seen them at least over a year. Few other cousins and family were there so it was nice. It was emotional at first because I know its hard to say something when someone is going threw something like this. I see the look on someones face as they try to say sorry, hey it's cool I am still here. I am not going anywhere, not for a long time if I can help it. I am a stubborn Italian. I am not going anywhere without a fight.
So it was hard and emotional seeing everyone. Having to stay back away from everyone sucked like I was a leper. Just kinda sucked. The worst was not being able to go to the lunch after. Not so much the food, but hey lets not lie us Italians do put out a spread for this stuff. But more because I wanted to spend more time with my cousins. It was great seeing everyone regardless how much time we had. But that kinda hit me knowing I will miss a bunch of stuff in the next 6 months. It's funny how something like this hits you and you just don't have time to adjust. It's just go time and you need to man up and just deal with it and do what needs to be done.
Tomorrow I head into round 2 of chemo. I have had some anxiety over it today. Worrying about the unknown. What will next week bring. It's always the worst feeling to worry about the unknown. In this case I was just nervous and anxious. I think most of it is that I am anxious to just get this over with. Part of me still thinks this is all a bad dream. But I suppose these are feelings we all have when something like this happens to us or a loved one. Emotions are all over the past few days since my breakdown. I know it's hard to control it so I roll with what I am feeling at that time.
Well I will keep it short today because I need to get to sleep early and try to rest for tomorrow. All I can remember is how much it sucked last week when I crashed from the chemo and I am not ready for that again. I am continuing my acupuncture this week with hopes that it will help with my side effects. I already changed my diet to help balance my Ph so fingers crossed and lets rock this shit!
Before I go I want to acknowledge some amazing friends that are doing things for me when others have turned their back on me. I have never been one to ask for help with anything. I am to stubborn. But a go fund me page has been created for me and I just want to say to those responsible and those who are sharing the link helping me out that I have no words for what you are doing. www.gofundme.com/patcatalano follow the link and share with your friends and again I am humbled by the response of my friends and family that have stuck by me. Again I said before they say in times like this you know who your real friends are.
Rock on real friends :)

SMIB \m/

www.gofundme.com/patcatalano