So Mr. Anxiety decided to come and visit me last night right when I went to bed. I was supposed to be up early this morning for an appointment down in the city. Lo and behold I was taken for an adventure like Alice in wonderland. Down the rabbit hole I went. Never to come out. Although it is possible I was the mad hatter. I am not sure yet. All I do know is that this was more than anxiety. I t was a full blown panic attack that lasted through the entire night and spilled over into the morning. I may have gotten a few minuets of sleep here and there. Meditation was helping just a bit here and there.
I finally was up and out of bed by seven this morning only to realize that my appointment I had at ten was never going to happen. After my brother showed up I had rescheduled my appointment I had some toast and tried to get some sleep. The heartburn and bloated feeling that kept me up all night along with my panic was still bothering me. I made an emergency acupuncture appointment for noon and git in a few hours of sleep. By the time I made it in for acupuncture I was still a complete fucking mess.
I battle this anxiety the best I can. Today, Touché, Pussy Cat! You got me. That was one for Mr. Anxiety. Thank god I was able to get in for acupuncture early because I was put right in a calm place. It was night and day once I left the office. I was able to get home have a protein bar and go right to sleep. Got some sleep until around five and had dinner then back to bed. I over did it this weekend. I went out way to early. Should have waited like I always do. This late in the game I am not ready to go anywhere at least nine days after chemo. I have to stop rushing myself and remember that.
Lesson well learned. Also I wont lie, having some of that food my mom cooked yesterday was a bot to much for me. Sorry Mom. Kinda really sucks but I really can't eat all that yumminess yet. As I always say "It is what it is" Not a whole shit load I can do about it.
Well tomorrow is a new day. Another day closer to all this shit coming to an end. As long as I keep my fight going with Mr. Anxiety then I can keep my sanity. That fucker has me by the balls right now. It wont stay that way for long. Once I am off the steroids things will calm down. Thank god again for my acupuncture. Dr. Pugliese is a damn saint. I feel nice and calm tonight at the same time I really am very tired. My body obviously needs the rest. Into the sleep battle ground I go, Just hope this time I win this small battle and get some sleep.
SMIB \m/
I finally was up and out of bed by seven this morning only to realize that my appointment I had at ten was never going to happen. After my brother showed up I had rescheduled my appointment I had some toast and tried to get some sleep. The heartburn and bloated feeling that kept me up all night along with my panic was still bothering me. I made an emergency acupuncture appointment for noon and git in a few hours of sleep. By the time I made it in for acupuncture I was still a complete fucking mess.
I battle this anxiety the best I can. Today, Touché, Pussy Cat! You got me. That was one for Mr. Anxiety. Thank god I was able to get in for acupuncture early because I was put right in a calm place. It was night and day once I left the office. I was able to get home have a protein bar and go right to sleep. Got some sleep until around five and had dinner then back to bed. I over did it this weekend. I went out way to early. Should have waited like I always do. This late in the game I am not ready to go anywhere at least nine days after chemo. I have to stop rushing myself and remember that.
Lesson well learned. Also I wont lie, having some of that food my mom cooked yesterday was a bot to much for me. Sorry Mom. Kinda really sucks but I really can't eat all that yumminess yet. As I always say "It is what it is" Not a whole shit load I can do about it.
Well tomorrow is a new day. Another day closer to all this shit coming to an end. As long as I keep my fight going with Mr. Anxiety then I can keep my sanity. That fucker has me by the balls right now. It wont stay that way for long. Once I am off the steroids things will calm down. Thank god again for my acupuncture. Dr. Pugliese is a damn saint. I feel nice and calm tonight at the same time I really am very tired. My body obviously needs the rest. Into the sleep battle ground I go, Just hope this time I win this small battle and get some sleep.
SMIB \m/
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