To day I realized that this is no way to fuckin live. I realize that living with anxiety is obviously no fun. Living with anxiety on top of having cancer is just insane. Since y diagnosis things obviously have been stressful. I had anxiety under control after losing wight and keeping up with my health, working out every day. I was just all around doing better in that department without taking any drugs for it. Now that I am dealing with all these side effects and dealing with cancer it has really taken my anxiety and shot it through the roof. The biggest thing I can do right now is keep my anxiety in check. This past chemo treatment for sure kicked my ass. I really thought I mentally prepared myself for it but I obviously did not come close.
Today as I started to come out of my chemo brain and ridiculous anxiety self pity party I started to feel better. I sat on the floor all day and my daughter and I played Barbie and binge watched Barbie Dream House on Netflix. I know she has been missing the fun things we were doing before like going to the park and riding bikes. This past week there was just no way for me to do any of that. I especially can not be going to a park full of kids with my counts so low. So today at the very least we were able to hang out and have fun Barbie style. See now THAT is the way to live. Not laying in bed and having panic attacks and just losing days and watching them just pass you by.
You start to realize why they say you can't let cancer take away your life. You can't let it take over. That is the hardest part but staying strong and staying positive you can make the change. I hate the fact that the chemo really brings your body down that far. The fight to bring it back up again is all mental. The mental part is hard when you see your hair falling out and start to feel the physical changes that chemo effects you with. Keeping up with my acupuncture and having you awesome friends that keep me motivated and keep praying and sending me good vibes really keep me feeling better. There is no way to get through all this without my good friends and family.
Another day another battle won! Forging ahead to win the war will always stay my plan no matter how hard I fall I will always get back up.
SMIB \m/
Today as I started to come out of my chemo brain and ridiculous anxiety self pity party I started to feel better. I sat on the floor all day and my daughter and I played Barbie and binge watched Barbie Dream House on Netflix. I know she has been missing the fun things we were doing before like going to the park and riding bikes. This past week there was just no way for me to do any of that. I especially can not be going to a park full of kids with my counts so low. So today at the very least we were able to hang out and have fun Barbie style. See now THAT is the way to live. Not laying in bed and having panic attacks and just losing days and watching them just pass you by.
You start to realize why they say you can't let cancer take away your life. You can't let it take over. That is the hardest part but staying strong and staying positive you can make the change. I hate the fact that the chemo really brings your body down that far. The fight to bring it back up again is all mental. The mental part is hard when you see your hair falling out and start to feel the physical changes that chemo effects you with. Keeping up with my acupuncture and having you awesome friends that keep me motivated and keep praying and sending me good vibes really keep me feeling better. There is no way to get through all this without my good friends and family.
Another day another battle won! Forging ahead to win the war will always stay my plan no matter how hard I fall I will always get back up.
SMIB \m/
For sure man, just like family. Unfortunately you cant pick them so you just deal with them the best you can lol
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