They say chemo is cumulative. well I am starting to see that now. This week has just been a lot harder to handle than the last two chemo treatments. I am not sure how to explain it but the most issues I am having is just being real tired. Since the acupuncture I have the nausea and anxiety in check also no nueropathy. If I get some it is very slight. The odd thing that I noticed this time around is I can smell the dam chemo drugs. Now that my sinuses have been opened up from the acupuncture I can smell anything around me. It is crazy. So somehow I can smell that fucking chemo. The same smell I smell when they give me the shit. Man I tell you it really smells horrible. Enough to make you want to vomit.
Although I do not have nausea I do get a bit nauseous just thinking about the smell. It is very hard to describe it but you really wouldn't want to know this smell anyway. It just reminds me that the shit is inside me. The one thing I even told my oncologist at one point was that I can feel it working, If that makes any sense. I can actually feel tingling sensation in my lymph nodes. Odd but she said yes I have heard where people can feel it working. Well I feel it that's for sure. And I smell this shit. I have not gotten that horrible metallic taste so I am very grateful for that. I love food lets face it. That's why I was a big guy lol I love to eat. Obviously I have made so many changes in my food and eating habits but I still love to eat the good stuff. And I love a pizza every now and then.
You cant stay so strict that you will get sick when you have to eat something. If you end up at a BBQ or moms house for dinner you can not just not eat. Especially moms food lol. My mom does cook pretty good with organic ingredients and mostly she sticks with imported pastas and such from Italy. The one thing people have to understand is that even if it is organic, Carbs are carbs and sugar is sugar. It is better than the chemical laced shit in traditional crops and processed foods but you should always watch what you eat. Just because I have organic Oreo cookies, yes they have them :) I am not going to eat the whole box. I could, but I wouldn't do that.
So being happy that I do not have this metallic taste in my mouth that keeps you from eating is a great thing. I keep cooking some awesome food and at least I have that to enjoy. The acupuncture sure helped with the side effects this time around. Even though they were a bit harder on me it was well worth it to have the acupuncture. The only big downfall this week has been my energy. I know they told me Monday that my white blood count was lower than the week before but not to low where I was not able to get chemo. So I was not to aware that it would knock me on my ass a bit harder this time. I pushed to hard thinking I would get back to feeling awesome like I did last week way to quick. I think going out Wednesday to lodge as much as I loved it was a bad Idea. I have been in bed now for hours a day. I would get up shower and say fuck that took it all outta me, and go right back to bed. I would get up cook and bam go right back to bed.
I tried to get out of the house yesterday to get some things from the store and I could have passed out in whole foods. I got home cooked ate and passed out in bed. Today was no different. Up for a bit and back in bed. Well at least this day is over and I do feel like I have a bit more energy than I did at the start of the day. I have to say the worst is your mind wanting to go and your body just laying there telling you to fuck off. Bring on Sunday. I keep saying it "One day at a time" that is all you can do in this situation. On the up side I am getting a lot of use out of my Audible App. I love to read but my eyes just burn or are tired so instead of having some one come over and sit with me and read me a book I use audible not to shabby. Plus who the hell would come read me a book lol.
Have a great weekend!
SMIB \m/
.
Although I do not have nausea I do get a bit nauseous just thinking about the smell. It is very hard to describe it but you really wouldn't want to know this smell anyway. It just reminds me that the shit is inside me. The one thing I even told my oncologist at one point was that I can feel it working, If that makes any sense. I can actually feel tingling sensation in my lymph nodes. Odd but she said yes I have heard where people can feel it working. Well I feel it that's for sure. And I smell this shit. I have not gotten that horrible metallic taste so I am very grateful for that. I love food lets face it. That's why I was a big guy lol I love to eat. Obviously I have made so many changes in my food and eating habits but I still love to eat the good stuff. And I love a pizza every now and then.
You cant stay so strict that you will get sick when you have to eat something. If you end up at a BBQ or moms house for dinner you can not just not eat. Especially moms food lol. My mom does cook pretty good with organic ingredients and mostly she sticks with imported pastas and such from Italy. The one thing people have to understand is that even if it is organic, Carbs are carbs and sugar is sugar. It is better than the chemical laced shit in traditional crops and processed foods but you should always watch what you eat. Just because I have organic Oreo cookies, yes they have them :) I am not going to eat the whole box. I could, but I wouldn't do that.
So being happy that I do not have this metallic taste in my mouth that keeps you from eating is a great thing. I keep cooking some awesome food and at least I have that to enjoy. The acupuncture sure helped with the side effects this time around. Even though they were a bit harder on me it was well worth it to have the acupuncture. The only big downfall this week has been my energy. I know they told me Monday that my white blood count was lower than the week before but not to low where I was not able to get chemo. So I was not to aware that it would knock me on my ass a bit harder this time. I pushed to hard thinking I would get back to feeling awesome like I did last week way to quick. I think going out Wednesday to lodge as much as I loved it was a bad Idea. I have been in bed now for hours a day. I would get up shower and say fuck that took it all outta me, and go right back to bed. I would get up cook and bam go right back to bed.
I tried to get out of the house yesterday to get some things from the store and I could have passed out in whole foods. I got home cooked ate and passed out in bed. Today was no different. Up for a bit and back in bed. Well at least this day is over and I do feel like I have a bit more energy than I did at the start of the day. I have to say the worst is your mind wanting to go and your body just laying there telling you to fuck off. Bring on Sunday. I keep saying it "One day at a time" that is all you can do in this situation. On the up side I am getting a lot of use out of my Audible App. I love to read but my eyes just burn or are tired so instead of having some one come over and sit with me and read me a book I use audible not to shabby. Plus who the hell would come read me a book lol.
Have a great weekend!
SMIB \m/
.
Thats ok dude, just sleep, worry about nothing but recovering from this shit hand youve been dealt. PLenty of time to be awake later when your body is ready for it
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