As you all noticed I didn't blog last night. I was so exhausted yesterday it was pathetic. I just did not feel my self at all. The whole day was just spent sleeping and resting. It honestly is something I am so sick of doing. Just laying around. I know I botch about that all the time but you have no idea how awful it really is. I remember being a kid saying shit like "I just wanna lay around and do nothing all day". Yeah fuck that shit! I will never wish that for myself again.
At least today was just a bit better. I pulled it together for my daughter so she could have a decent birthday. Just did not want her to see me laying around all day on her birthday. So We had a decent little family party for her and I lasted till 930 lol. Not to bad. And she was very happy. Now she can get into the weekend and have her party with her little friends. As much as I was tired today the worst was the fuckin back pain. I try everything. Ice, stretching, heat, biofreeze, I am lost. The pain is crazy I can't take anymore.
The worst part of all this honestly is being uncomfortable. That is just unbearable. It messes with your sleep. So on top of the damn back pain, there is also the steroids keeping me awake. Its a very vicious circle. Chemo brain is still haunting me today. Along with a feeling that I just can not explain. I just do not feel myself at all. It is a very odd feeling that only hit me a day or two after chemo. Now the more I get chemo the longer this feeling lasts. It's just a very odd feeling where everything is so sensitive from my hair to my skin. Just odd.
Well that is that today. I am trying to hang in there with all that is going on. I am at the end of my rope with feeling this way. But I do say that every week don't I? Yet I am staying strong and positive. Need to keep strong. Till tomorrow.
SMIB \m/
At least today was just a bit better. I pulled it together for my daughter so she could have a decent birthday. Just did not want her to see me laying around all day on her birthday. So We had a decent little family party for her and I lasted till 930 lol. Not to bad. And she was very happy. Now she can get into the weekend and have her party with her little friends. As much as I was tired today the worst was the fuckin back pain. I try everything. Ice, stretching, heat, biofreeze, I am lost. The pain is crazy I can't take anymore.
The worst part of all this honestly is being uncomfortable. That is just unbearable. It messes with your sleep. So on top of the damn back pain, there is also the steroids keeping me awake. Its a very vicious circle. Chemo brain is still haunting me today. Along with a feeling that I just can not explain. I just do not feel myself at all. It is a very odd feeling that only hit me a day or two after chemo. Now the more I get chemo the longer this feeling lasts. It's just a very odd feeling where everything is so sensitive from my hair to my skin. Just odd.
Well that is that today. I am trying to hang in there with all that is going on. I am at the end of my rope with feeling this way. But I do say that every week don't I? Yet I am staying strong and positive. Need to keep strong. Till tomorrow.
SMIB \m/
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