The start of the last week is a bit emotional. I obviously wanted to be done with all this after six months of chemo. To have to take on radiation on top of chemo was a blow. But I took it like I take anything in life. People are asking me how I feel being that this is my last week of treatment. I guess the same as I did on my last chemo treatment. Obviously I was looking for good news then. I am looking for good news now. I have to wait much longer this time. At least six to eight weeks before I have my petscan. Sometime in April I should get results. In the meantime I hurry up and wait.
The side effects of the radiation are a bit more apparent now. My skin in the area they are treating me is now turning a nice shade of red. I was told that I will feel side effects up to two weeks after treatment stops. I haven't had much side effects besides some fatigue and losing my voice a bit. The area of treatment just started to get more sensitive. I can feel it is uncomfortable with certain materials against my skin. Other than those things nothing else has bothered me. Definitely a walk in the park compared to chemo. I mean shit, no one wants to go through either but this is far easier on me than chemo.
Even though I was told not to lose any weight during my treatment I have turned up the heat on my workouts. Now that I am not fighting this bug I am able to get back in the gym and hit it a whole lot harder. My blood pressure has gone down a few points since I kicked up the cardio. It's funny doing cardio at the speed that used to be my cool down. So fun starting over. There are days I get pissed that I have to start again . Then again if I can preach to others to just take their time and just take it day by day, I suppose I can take a bit of my own advice. Now that I am back on track with diet and exercise it should all fall into place.
Trying to keep my mind off the fact that I have to wait so long for results. I go back to Illinois masonic on the twenty ninth for a follow up with my oncologist. At this point I am sure I'll get the date of my scan and the usual check up. Maybe a blood test. They love taking your blood. Although I know that my oncologist won't take my port out without getting good results. I am still having the talk with her. I won't feel like this is over until that thing comes out. It still bugs me and now that my skin around that area is sensitive from the radiation it bothers me more. This thing has to come out soon. Keeping the faith that this proton radiation has done the trick.
As I said this last week is a bit emotional. A lot is going through my head. They say it is hard to transition as a survivor. I guess I see this as something that really has taken up every second of every day of my life for the past ten months. That makes me pretty pissed off. So there is a variety of emotions that at this point I have developed. Trying to keep the angry emotions at bay. There is no room to be so angry at yourself for something that you can not control. Instead I try to focus all those emotions on getting better. Even though being human does get in the way of being wolverine.
Well that's my update for the last few days. All I need to do is get through the rest of this week and the waiting game clock starts again. Still I will never let this fight get me down. Time to rise from the ashes.
SMIB \m/
The side effects of the radiation are a bit more apparent now. My skin in the area they are treating me is now turning a nice shade of red. I was told that I will feel side effects up to two weeks after treatment stops. I haven't had much side effects besides some fatigue and losing my voice a bit. The area of treatment just started to get more sensitive. I can feel it is uncomfortable with certain materials against my skin. Other than those things nothing else has bothered me. Definitely a walk in the park compared to chemo. I mean shit, no one wants to go through either but this is far easier on me than chemo.
Even though I was told not to lose any weight during my treatment I have turned up the heat on my workouts. Now that I am not fighting this bug I am able to get back in the gym and hit it a whole lot harder. My blood pressure has gone down a few points since I kicked up the cardio. It's funny doing cardio at the speed that used to be my cool down. So fun starting over. There are days I get pissed that I have to start again . Then again if I can preach to others to just take their time and just take it day by day, I suppose I can take a bit of my own advice. Now that I am back on track with diet and exercise it should all fall into place.
Trying to keep my mind off the fact that I have to wait so long for results. I go back to Illinois masonic on the twenty ninth for a follow up with my oncologist. At this point I am sure I'll get the date of my scan and the usual check up. Maybe a blood test. They love taking your blood. Although I know that my oncologist won't take my port out without getting good results. I am still having the talk with her. I won't feel like this is over until that thing comes out. It still bugs me and now that my skin around that area is sensitive from the radiation it bothers me more. This thing has to come out soon. Keeping the faith that this proton radiation has done the trick.
As I said this last week is a bit emotional. A lot is going through my head. They say it is hard to transition as a survivor. I guess I see this as something that really has taken up every second of every day of my life for the past ten months. That makes me pretty pissed off. So there is a variety of emotions that at this point I have developed. Trying to keep the angry emotions at bay. There is no room to be so angry at yourself for something that you can not control. Instead I try to focus all those emotions on getting better. Even though being human does get in the way of being wolverine.
Well that's my update for the last few days. All I need to do is get through the rest of this week and the waiting game clock starts again. Still I will never let this fight get me down. Time to rise from the ashes.
SMIB \m/
Here ya are man, end of the week, end of the bs, fn awesome! Think of it this way if you can, almost a year already of fighting and surviving. You have sooo many years left now to forget how much time of your this shit took up, you can just go on living, period.
ReplyDeleteJust need to get through the next two weeks of side effects lol
ReplyDelete