Tomorrow starts my radiation treatment at the Northwestern proton center in Warrenville. This next step will take up my Monday through Friday for the next four weeks. I am excited to get started and a little nervous which I am sure is normal. I have only had the one interaction at this facility so far but it was a good experience. I am confident that I will be comfortable there as I go through my therapy. I am going to try very hard to get my schedule on track. Ever since I started chemo months ago my sleep schedule was all fucked up. I have been trying to get that shit under control since early December.
It is a bitch to do but I have the right attitude. I say say that sarcastically of course. I have been trying to get to bed earlier and get up earlier everyday. I do succeed some of the time. Others I fail miserably. You may say just as bad as the Cubbies do in the playoffs. Ya know when and if they ever make it there. My plan now is to be up and in the gym early in the morning and back home, showered and ready to hit the road by ten thirty every day. Tomorrow will be the test flight of this new plan. Just hope I don't crash and burn on the first one.
The weekend was good. I kept myself busy in the gym. I have been getting stronger and my workouts have been on track. I have dropped some weight so far and put on some muscle. Just going back to my basics with my workout plan is paying off. The hardest part is getting back to my food plan. Yes food plan. I never call it a diet. Diets always fail. Putting a food plan in place is so easy when you learn what to eat and what not to eat. I have a few kinks in my plan. They will work themselves out as I go along. Being on those steroids really got me craving carbs. I think the worst was eating late at night since I was up so late all the time. I still get hungry late at night now like a reflex. A bad one at that.
One step at a time. That' all it takes. Again I find myself thinking I can rush this shit. I am in better position now to get get back on track with working out and eating right than I was during chemo. That is definitely a great thing. I just keep telling myself "take your time it will all come together". Kinda scary when all these people start to pass away from cancer just weeks apart. I mean we lost Lemmy, Bowie, Alan Rickman the list goes on. Not to mention people that we don't know because they are not famous. Regular folk like you and I. Cancer is a scary monster. Worse than that monster that would hide under your bed as a kid. You know the one. That monster still makes you freak out if the covers are not over your toes at night. You have to make sure they are covered so it won't get you.
We think our covers are a deterrent and the monster can't get through. Those are some special covers we got huh? I can see the monster now.... peaking from under the bed "ok I got this motherfucker now" Goes to pop up and bam.... the monster sees covers over you. "Fuck I almost had him, damn covers ruin everything". The magic covers can't save us from the monster under our bed. They can't save us from cancer. With all the money given to cancer research... well I won't get into that. Let's end on a good note shall we. Keep those toes covered.
SMIB \m/
It is a bitch to do but I have the right attitude. I say say that sarcastically of course. I have been trying to get to bed earlier and get up earlier everyday. I do succeed some of the time. Others I fail miserably. You may say just as bad as the Cubbies do in the playoffs. Ya know when and if they ever make it there. My plan now is to be up and in the gym early in the morning and back home, showered and ready to hit the road by ten thirty every day. Tomorrow will be the test flight of this new plan. Just hope I don't crash and burn on the first one.
The weekend was good. I kept myself busy in the gym. I have been getting stronger and my workouts have been on track. I have dropped some weight so far and put on some muscle. Just going back to my basics with my workout plan is paying off. The hardest part is getting back to my food plan. Yes food plan. I never call it a diet. Diets always fail. Putting a food plan in place is so easy when you learn what to eat and what not to eat. I have a few kinks in my plan. They will work themselves out as I go along. Being on those steroids really got me craving carbs. I think the worst was eating late at night since I was up so late all the time. I still get hungry late at night now like a reflex. A bad one at that.
One step at a time. That' all it takes. Again I find myself thinking I can rush this shit. I am in better position now to get get back on track with working out and eating right than I was during chemo. That is definitely a great thing. I just keep telling myself "take your time it will all come together". Kinda scary when all these people start to pass away from cancer just weeks apart. I mean we lost Lemmy, Bowie, Alan Rickman the list goes on. Not to mention people that we don't know because they are not famous. Regular folk like you and I. Cancer is a scary monster. Worse than that monster that would hide under your bed as a kid. You know the one. That monster still makes you freak out if the covers are not over your toes at night. You have to make sure they are covered so it won't get you.
We think our covers are a deterrent and the monster can't get through. Those are some special covers we got huh? I can see the monster now.... peaking from under the bed "ok I got this motherfucker now" Goes to pop up and bam.... the monster sees covers over you. "Fuck I almost had him, damn covers ruin everything". The magic covers can't save us from the monster under our bed. They can't save us from cancer. With all the money given to cancer research... well I won't get into that. Let's end on a good note shall we. Keep those toes covered.
SMIB \m/
Ah the magic covers that was a barrier for those pesky monsters, but more so the protection of our parents that put a kabosh to those terrors.. You're on to the next journey to your recovery always remember you're never alone. My thoughts are with you through one of the toughest experiences anyone can endure in life. You've got this Pat, you're strong willed and you'll show cancer whose boss!! Head up all will be fine in the end. Hugs
ReplyDeleteThank you :) I am just taking it a day at a time.
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