A few days have gone by since my initial meeting at the Proton Center. I was very anxious after my first visit to get started. I once again had to slow down my thinking and realize that I can't rush this. The whole situation I am in has to take time. This is really teaching me how to stop rushing. Or at least it should. I am Italian after all and I am hard headed. At this point I know I have to just take my time. I know that going to this facility for my next step of treatment is going to be good for me. The main thing I need to do is just focus on my life. It is hard to stop thinking about the whole situation and just go about your day.
It is hard to move on from something like this and just go about your day. I have a few weeks now before I start my treatments. I am taking advantage of the time to get back in the gym everyday. I work hard on just pushing forward no matter what. My body has gone through a war the last seven months. Eating better and staying active is what makes me feel so much better. Keeps my mind focused on what is really important. Looking back now on all this it is still hard to wrap my mind around it. There was a time when my mind was always going to the how and why this happened to me.
I don't think that I will every really have solid answers. Looking at the food we eat and the pesticides that are used in our food along with steroids and antibiotics in our food. It is just crazy how our food supply is just so fucked up. It wasn't like I was eating healthy my whole life lol. At some point when I discovered organic non gmo foods I had been eating the other shit for years. There was a few moments where I said to myself "is this change to late?" I mean how do you ever really know. I suppose you never really do. Still it is never too late to change and eat healthy.
This was the card that was dealt to me so I will play it. I still am happy that I changed and that I educated myself if not just for me but for my kids and other people that want to learn and be educated on food. Most people don't care about it. I know just how bad it is. After being pumped with chemo for six months is something I will remember every time I have a choice to eat something that is not organic. After being though something like this nothing really bothers me. The anxiety of life that gets all of us is always a constant fight. Having the balls to stand up to the anxiety of life is a great feeling.
It is an amazing thing to realize the strength we possess inside. Having the courage and the inner strength to face something bigger than you can even imagine is humbling. To all those who are fighting.. Keep the faith!
SMIB \m/
It is hard to move on from something like this and just go about your day. I have a few weeks now before I start my treatments. I am taking advantage of the time to get back in the gym everyday. I work hard on just pushing forward no matter what. My body has gone through a war the last seven months. Eating better and staying active is what makes me feel so much better. Keeps my mind focused on what is really important. Looking back now on all this it is still hard to wrap my mind around it. There was a time when my mind was always going to the how and why this happened to me.
I don't think that I will every really have solid answers. Looking at the food we eat and the pesticides that are used in our food along with steroids and antibiotics in our food. It is just crazy how our food supply is just so fucked up. It wasn't like I was eating healthy my whole life lol. At some point when I discovered organic non gmo foods I had been eating the other shit for years. There was a few moments where I said to myself "is this change to late?" I mean how do you ever really know. I suppose you never really do. Still it is never too late to change and eat healthy.
This was the card that was dealt to me so I will play it. I still am happy that I changed and that I educated myself if not just for me but for my kids and other people that want to learn and be educated on food. Most people don't care about it. I know just how bad it is. After being pumped with chemo for six months is something I will remember every time I have a choice to eat something that is not organic. After being though something like this nothing really bothers me. The anxiety of life that gets all of us is always a constant fight. Having the balls to stand up to the anxiety of life is a great feeling.
It is an amazing thing to realize the strength we possess inside. Having the courage and the inner strength to face something bigger than you can even imagine is humbling. To all those who are fighting.. Keep the faith!
SMIB \m/
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