This treatment has not been so hard on me so far. Am I just that numb to the feeling now? Who knows. I can feel the chemo brain really messing with me. My memory is a bit shot. I seriously forget shit when I have chemo brain. The super smelling comes back for the first few days after chemo. That is something that I can't stand. It turns my stomach every time I catch a smell of something that reminds me of the chemo. I know the more I say it the stranger it sounds. But I can not explain it any better. The acupuncture sure is keeping the nausea away but my stomach is not happy. The chemo strips your stomach so I take lost of probiotics. The heartburn sucks too.
I haven't had to sleep with a bottle of tums next to my bed in years. Not very happy about that at all. I guess the first seven days or so after chemo are the worst. You slowly start to feel better after day five or six. depending. It honestly takes a bit longer the more of it is in your system. That's the worst part. Getting through the first week or so just to start to feel somewhat normal. This feeling on chemo is something I just can't explain. You just feel completely out of it. That's a generic way to say it but that's how I can explain it.
On the bright side today was a decent day if you look at the big picture. Keeping the positive attitude helps cope with the real shit parts of the day. At some point I wish I could unzip and step out of my body just to take a break from the aches and pains I feel all day long. It gets out of hand. If you don't stay strong and positive it can really get to you. Lord knows I have let it get to me a few times. I swore I wouldn't let it happen again. So I do all I can to stay positive, Meditate and just keep my eye on the prize. It is easier said than done. But at this point of the game I have nothing to lose. When I feel like this I just have to keep moving forward.
So a better day today as I move into tomorrow that is typically crash day for me. I can feel the energy slipping from my body already. I almost forget what its like to feel good. The way I felt before this all started. I felt like a fucking machine. And some days It is hard to imagine I will every feel like that again. I proved my self wrong by losing all that weight so now I have a bigger battle to fight and prove to myself that I can accomplish this also. Life is an open road. You just have to get out there and start moving forward and never look back.
SMIB \m/
I haven't had to sleep with a bottle of tums next to my bed in years. Not very happy about that at all. I guess the first seven days or so after chemo are the worst. You slowly start to feel better after day five or six. depending. It honestly takes a bit longer the more of it is in your system. That's the worst part. Getting through the first week or so just to start to feel somewhat normal. This feeling on chemo is something I just can't explain. You just feel completely out of it. That's a generic way to say it but that's how I can explain it.
On the bright side today was a decent day if you look at the big picture. Keeping the positive attitude helps cope with the real shit parts of the day. At some point I wish I could unzip and step out of my body just to take a break from the aches and pains I feel all day long. It gets out of hand. If you don't stay strong and positive it can really get to you. Lord knows I have let it get to me a few times. I swore I wouldn't let it happen again. So I do all I can to stay positive, Meditate and just keep my eye on the prize. It is easier said than done. But at this point of the game I have nothing to lose. When I feel like this I just have to keep moving forward.
So a better day today as I move into tomorrow that is typically crash day for me. I can feel the energy slipping from my body already. I almost forget what its like to feel good. The way I felt before this all started. I felt like a fucking machine. And some days It is hard to imagine I will every feel like that again. I proved my self wrong by losing all that weight so now I have a bigger battle to fight and prove to myself that I can accomplish this also. Life is an open road. You just have to get out there and start moving forward and never look back.
SMIB \m/
Hang in there bro, 3 to go, and we got your back man. I know that doesnt help w/ all the aches and shit but just know ur not alone which was obvious at the bar Sun, lots of people there to support u
ReplyDelete