Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Today was and has been a roller coaster of a day. The anxiety started right away this morning. It took hold and really had me in a panic. I had to reel it in or I would have lost my shit. Thanks to some help I was able to do that. Although I did try to get more sleep today I don't think I slept enough. I didn't eat enough either. I had no energy on and off today. It was very strange. I had an hour or so where I felt pretty good and that didn't last long. It really was crazy how I would go from ok to just total panic in no time. I felt like I had a ton of bricks on my shoulders all day.

Just one hell of a fucked up day. I went in for acupuncture and that really calmed me down. I had to call my brother to rush over because I was very close to losing my shit with this anxiety. Thank god my daughter took a nap after school so she didn't have to see me freaking out. Again just not what I like to experience on my good week. I didn't really have any side effects bothering me at all today. Mostly just really horrible muscle aches and pains. My back is so tight it's fucking crazy. I had my brother sit here and try to work knots out of my shoulder for like half an hour. Poor guy. Thank god for family.

Mostly all the muscle pain I have and tightness is driving me nuts. I tried to soak in a Epsom salt bath to alleviate some muscle soreness. It kind of works, I don't know really how well. But I tried it. Somehow the nerves in my elbows keep making my hands fall asleep if I lay the wrong way or even sit the in a certain way. That drives me crazy and sets off some anxiety. I am falling apart lol. I have to laugh at this point because what else can I do. I just have to laugh it up and keep thinking that I am close to all this being a distant memory. Honestly I just hate the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde bullshit. Im good one minute and the next all hell has broken loose. 

Well not much I can do but try and hang on for the rest of the ride. These days need to just get better. The worst is getting that reminder call from the oncologists office. Yeah Thanks I know I have another treatment Tuesday no worries lol. Smile everyone or you will lose your mind. 

SMIB \m/