Well the last weekend before I go back in for more chemo. Feeling good today. I was able to get up a bit earlier today than normal and hit the gym. Got back on the treadmill and got in 30 minutes of cardio and a great weight lifting workout. All this without any anxiety!! That is a big plus for today. Getting back on my normal diet has me a happy man. I feel way better also. I realize that the steroids I am on make me gain weight and heighten my anxiety. Among other things they are doing to me I am sure. So now that I have come to terms with dealing with all these side effects, even gaining 10 pounds. I guess I can deal with it and be happy I am beating the shoty out of this cancer.
As I am always reminded, things can be worse. Since the chemo is cumulative I am noticing it takes me a bit longer to recover from it. I am sure once I start up my acupuncture again I will be much better. The next chemo treatment will mar my half way point. As much as I am strong and I keep a positive attitude. I really can't wait for this to be over. Even though this is a long journey I can be honest and tell you that I have my moments where I just want it over with. Shit, who wouldn't be sick of this. I can't believe how fast time has passed. It feels like yesterday I started chemo and had all this unknown in front of me. I would lie if I said I wasn't glad that the time is going quick. I know I am missing so much out there in the real world. lol. I try to get out as much as I can as long as there are not many people around. Can't really risk getting sick and postponing any treatments.
I try to be as careful as I can and at least I can get to have some fun. I had some up's and some shitty downs during all this and decided to call and get some help. I have a few people that have been helping me that have gone though this. It is so comforting to know you are not alone during the tough times. Once get get diagnosed everyone is in shock and is there to offer help and want to move mountains for you. Then a few months in people start to disappear. It's funny how that happens. I didn't believe it when the cancer survivors I spoke with told me that I thought, nah that can't be. But all to true. I suppose I am lucky that the majority of my friends are still here with me giving me support. Some have disappeared into the thin air lol but so be it.
I understand that this is a tough thing to deal with and most people can't. I still find it amazing when I see someone I haven't seen in awhile I will get that look saying "god i'm so sorry". Hey no pity please. I am a tough son of a bitch. I made it though some hard shit in my life and I will make it though this. Just once in a while I want bitch about it, well maybe more than once in a while but still this is a pain in the ass. Well time for me to hit the sack I have a big day tomorrow and need to be up ass early in the morning. I am hopping that I can actually get some sleep tonight since I have been going all day non stop. Wish me luck zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
SMIB \m/
P.S Thank you to those who continue to help with my go fund me page by sharing it on facebook.
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