Today has been a pretty shit day. Nausea and a dam migraine has plagued me all day. Every muscle in my body is sore from just laying around on the floor. It's funny but I still can only get comfortable on the floor. Other than that it's been a bitch of a day. Still not a fan of being so dam tired. This fucking port just drives me up a fucking wall. My patients is thin today so not talking to anyone just to be safe or I may blow up for no reason. I'm just not in the mood today to deal with anybody. Days like this you really get pissed going through this. Trying to keep my cool because I am just so tired of feeling this way. It's not even the part about being sick it's just the side effects from the dam chemo that make you feel so off that you know what? I'm just fucking sick of it. Laying here all fucking day is just not my idea of getting better.
Still drives me crazy to think before all this how great I was feeling. But again I'm not trying to bitch. I am just fed up with feeling fucking sick all the time for a week at a time. Some times more. But I made it to Friday. Tomorrow should start to look up. I believe I finally get my acupuncture tomorrow. They will have to fill me with a thousand needles to make up for the three weeks I haven't had it. My superhero sniffer is driving me crazy today. That is adding to my nausea in a big way. Again just another pain in the ass hurdle I need to overcome. I am staying positive as much as I realize it is hard when you feel so out of it. The chemo brain does not help at all. Makes me forget things and just not being on my game at all feels odd. I have no idea some days how to deal with the side effects
Still drives me crazy to think before all this how great I was feeling. But again I'm not trying to bitch. I am just fed up with feeling fucking sick all the time for a week at a time. Some times more. But I made it to Friday. Tomorrow should start to look up. I believe I finally get my acupuncture tomorrow. They will have to fill me with a thousand needles to make up for the three weeks I haven't had it. My superhero sniffer is driving me crazy today. That is adding to my nausea in a big way. Again just another pain in the ass hurdle I need to overcome. I am staying positive as much as I realize it is hard when you feel so out of it. The chemo brain does not help at all. Makes me forget things and just not being on my game at all feels odd. I have no idea some days how to deal with the side effects
If I knew what tomorrow would bring I would be Johnny Wishbone, psychic extraordinaire. But at least I can guess it will get better. Because this shit is just to much today. Between the fact that I can't take anything for my headache and the muscle soreness I am very uncomfortable. I did get a little sleep during the day today so we will see if I get some tonight. I just never feel like I got enough sleep. This first week of chemo really always is the hardest to get though. All I can say is thank god I lost all that wight and busted my ass in the gym the past two years. I would have not handled this very well being 100 lbs over wight.
That's it for tonight. Keep cool and see you all on the flip side.
SMIB \m/
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