Day 4 Eh

So today started out better, Woke up at least with some energy to move. That was a plus. I tell you whatever that shit was yesterday was crazy. And the scary thing is I know that's just the start. But today is another day. I was able to function and get some laundry done, cook and clean the house a bit. Made me feel normal. I think that is the key to just try and feel normal. I remember a nurse told me once after my pet scan, There is nothing you can do, just keep listening to what the doctor tells you, keep coming back and do the tests and treatments but in between just live your life and keep moving, Well that's what I try to do. I know its early yet but since I was diagnosed its been over a month, There are still times if I let my mind wonder and think .. shit I have cancer, what the fuck. I worked so hard to turn my health around. 2 years of kicking ass in the gym and now this?
It is a hard pill to swallow I tell you. I stay positive but I will not lie that it really pisses me off that it happened. I still remember the ER Doc telling me " It's not your fault, nothing you could have done would have changed this. It's just bad luck" Bad luck lol this dude didn't know me well. I have had my share of bad luck. Not that I cry about it Shit happens in life and you need to man up and take responsibility for your decisions and actions. But knowing that you are not in control of something that is going on inside you is bullshit. At least I can change and fix my mistakes, I am in control when I eat what I eat how I work out, but this is new terrain for me.
So back to staying positive, lol its just the first few days and at least I am on the right path to remission and I am in control walking into the chemo sessions and taking my meds all while it kills this shit in me. At least THAT I am in control of. Wow went into a rant there huh? Moving along, as i was saying before I rudely interrupted myself. I had some energy today to get some things done. It hit me like a 2 ton heavy thing somewhere around 7 tonight. Bam out of no where I ran out of gas, just had to sit in my recliner and just had to recharge, Nausea was a bit harsh today had to hit the pills twice to stop that shit in its tracks. It is no fun trying to eat when you feel like puking it up. Thank god for those anti nausea pills.
My emotions have been all over too. I will be fine one second and the next something stupid will piss me off. Keeping my mind busy has helped. maybe I should join Luminosity,com lol or maybe not. We shall see. Anyway Peace out one more day closer!
SMIB \m/